Navigating Grief in the 3rd Dimension
Honoring Nahla’s Memory
Two weeks ago, we said goodbye to our beloved cat, Nahla. She was in my life for 20 years, and more than just a pet, she was a cherished family member and friend. Nahla was an energy master, teaching me many lessons in the art of truly living in the moment.
I am eternally grateful to her for the years we spent together. Every moment with her was a treasured gift.
I know that death is not the end, merely a transition. After all, there are other worlds than this. But in the midst of one's grief, this does little to lessen the blow of her loss. I can no longer hold her, touch her soft fur, feel the healing vibrations of her purr, or delight in her quirky antics. I now find myself navigating grief in this 3rd dimensional experience, grounded in the understanding that death is not the end.
“Grief is not a linear experience, yet often we rush to try and get through it linearly”
Grief is not a linear experience, yet often we rush to try and get through it linearly. Or worse, we suppress it with the notion that grieving is "low vibration" and attach judgment to our natural response and emotions. This suppression and judgement can lead to the creation of shadows, a calcification in the body complex, and locking in the trapped emotions that weren't allowed to be fully expressed.
Suppression and judgement can also lead to a sense of guilt for not vibrating high enough. When I hear well intentioned phrases like “don’t be sad, they’re in a better place”, it makes me cringe, not because it’s not true, but because it invalidates the very real and normal sense of loss and sadness we feel when a loved one leaves this plane. It’s NORMAL to mourn and feel their absence. You are not a “low vibe” person for having a very human response to loss.
“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”
On the other hand, we don't want to become consumed by our grief, allowing it to master our lives and hold us in the past. So how do we move forward while still honoring the natural grieving process? I'm reminded of the Zen saying, “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.” It's about non-resistance, non-judgment, and releasing attachment. There is a natural impermanence to things, and life must go on.
Awakening does not change that we exist in a physical experience, and neither does grief, so we continue to "chop wood, carry water." It reminds us that while the experience may transform us profoundly, life's fundamental rhythms persist, urging us to find solace in the familiar amidst the upheaval of loss
Now, let's explore some practical tools and tips that may resonate with you as you navigate this intricate journey of grief.
Acknowledge and Allow
I'm allowing the emotions that wash over me to have their moment. I won't push them away or assign judgement to them. I sit with them, honor them. And when it's passed, I get up, get grounded, and keep going about my day. I repeat to myself, "chop wood, carry water.”
Acknowledge the Loss: Recognize the depth of your emotions. Allow yourself to feel without judgment.
Sit with Emotions: Let the waves of grief wash over you, honoring each feeling as it comes. Understand that it’s natural to experience a range of emotions, and there is no right or wrong way to feel.
Remembrance
I’m finding ways to honor the life of Nahla. She loved to be with me while I gardened, so I planted a white rose in her memory, and when I see it, I’ll think of all the times she lounged in the garden while I worked.
Memorialize: Create lasting tributes to your loved one’s memory, such as planting a tree, creating a shrine, having a ceremony. Share stories and memories with loved ones to keep their spirit alive.
Creative Expression: Write, draw, or engage in activities that your loved one enjoyed, like gardening, hiking, cooking. This can be a soothing way to remember and honor them.
Support
It’s important to remember that you are not alone in your grief. In the past I’ve been one to self-isolate when grieving. If anyone offered condolences and asked me how I was, I would often lie and say “I’m doing okay”, or “I’m managing”. To be honest meant being vulnerable, and I was more concerned with making someone feel uncomfortable with my very real and normal emotions than with being real about what I was experiencing. This is a form of suppression, again leading to a calcification and hardening of emotions in the body.
Seek Help: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your grief can lighten its burden.
Be Honest: When asked how you’re doing, allow yourself to be vulnerable and truthful. This honesty can foster deeper connections and support, and prevent the emotions from calcifying in the body complex.
Releasing Grief from the Body
An important aspect of the grieving process is moving the emotions through the body. The body has the ability to store trauma and emotions if not properly expressed. Grief is not just a psychological experience, it’s physical. It can manifest in a heaviness on the chest, a closed tight throat, feeling weak, tired, sick to the stomach. When dealing with our grief we cannot ignore our physical bodies.
Movement: Engage in activities like yoga, tai chi, qigong, or dance to help release stored tension and emotions.
Sound: Humming, singing, and chanting stimulates the vagus nerve, part of the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress. This can help manage emotions during grief.
Grounding Techniques: Stay connected to the present moment through activities like walking, showering, or grounding your feet on the earth.
Energy Healing: Practices like Reiki, Sound Healing, and qigong can help release physical tension and promote relaxation. These modalities often focus on areas where trauma is stored in the body, assisting in the release of trapped emotions.
Summary
· Acknowledge and Allow: Recognize and allow emotions without judgment.
· Remembrance: Find ways to honor and memorialize your loved one.
· Support: Seek help openly from friends, family, or groups to prevent emotional suppression.
· Releasing Grief from the Body: Move emotions through practices like qigong and humming, stay present with grounding techniques, and seek energy healing releasing blockages.
Final Thoughts
Nahla was an energy master, and she taught me much while she was physically with me. Though she is physically gone, she's still here teaching me, and I am humbled and honored to have such teacher.
Through her loss she is teaching me how to navigate grief in a healthy and balanced way.
A few days after her passing, I asked Nahla for a sign. Not long after, I absently found myself humming a lullaby. I realized it was from her, and I quickly recorded the song, trying to hold back tears. The song finished at the auspicious time of 2:22.
Nahla’s Song
I love you in the morning, I love you in the sun
I love you in the evening, I love you when night’s come
I love you when the rain comes, I love you in the storm
And when the skies are clearing, I love you when it’s calm
And when our time is leaving, I’ll love you even then
I love you when you’re gone now, my love will never end
If you're experiencing grief, know that you can and will get through this. Reach out and schedule a one-on-one healing session to help align yourself to process your emotions and allow them to release.
Grief is a journey that each of us experiences differently. By sharing our stories, we can support each other through the hardest times. Thank you for being part of Nahla’s story and for honoring her memory with me.
Author: Angella Altea
